gregory akerman

"amateurish, tedious, pretentious"



dearest people - this new show is happening on the 25th & 26th August. It has been quite the slog getting it all together for you and has seen me reconnect with my old pals over at the heavens gate cult, along with seeing if i could go into any more possible detail with bible (turns out i can).

it is set to be quite a lot of fun and i am tremendously looking forward to it. it will be performed at the water rats venue which is, shall we say, fucking massive. so if you can come down, get involved xx



image by Kimberley Freeman

We are two episodes into this wonderful show that I have been working on all year with Steve Cross, Amanda DiGioia & Angus Dunican. I don't think it's an exaggeration to say it is the best podcast that has ever existed. 

A phenomenally silly fantasy adventure show (it's D&D ok - simple as that) that sees three characters thrown together to have some fun. Here's the blurb for episode 1 that i think, nicely sets the scene:

"In our first episode our heroes meet, having answered an advert offering adventure and gold. It’s never made clear what the advert was in, nor how they all happened to arrive at exactly the same time. Magic is probably to blame in some way. They almost fail to enter the pub where questgivers await due to an argument about trees."

If you haven't already gotten involved, do listen, join in and play. 



"The library would still have been burned"

Masterpiece Bookshelf reviews the world's great books through arguments between comedian Gregory Akerman, who has read them, and slightly-more-famous comedian Steve Cross, who hasn't. Steve (founder of Bright Club and Science Showoff) does not believe he needs to read any books, or indeed, anything. Nothing. Instructions - no. Warnings - no. Directions - no. Nothing. His flat is regularly on fire because of this, but he just won't learn. Gregory believes he needs to read all the things. With the ability to quote stuff at situations, surely he will be unburdened of the responsibility of thinking up his own ideas. Somehow he has still not got that job hosting QI. Who will win? Which side shall you take? Listen in bewilderment & rapt excitement as Gregory tries to convince Steve to read many of this world's most famous, beautiful, disgusting and offensive books. Listen in amazement & concerned sympathy as Steve bullies Gregory in an effort to convince him that reading is worthless. The world - it seems - is made up of stories. These stories are often shared between humans through the medium of books, in order to enrich our lives. However dear listener, you can not be expected to take time out of your schedule to read all of these things. that would be ridiculous! This podcast may be able to help. Suggest books for us to read! Tell us off for missing out your favourite bit of your favourite book! Buy us a drink! Commune -

that description about - too big for itunes innit - sounds good though. have a listen


"I'm not paid to think, i'm paid to fuck shit up"

I am paid for neither or course. its just a line from the movie mutant chronicles that they liked so very much - they threw in three times. amazing. 

regardless, less of that & more of me. we are at the halfway point of this camden fringe run and so far, it has been quite delightful (a full, in depth synopsis will no doubt feature in the next episode of lazy). i have had an amount of people seeing it - a smashing review & an odd thing.

yeah, and you know that telly thing? i actually did end up on the telly - i didn't say cunt ONCE & drank my body weight in water (you see, i was put in a green room with nought but water - think you've outsmarted me do you londonlive? well you have not accounted for my willingness to be desperate for a wee whist on live telly GREGORY WINS!) and right, and, i stopped myself from correcting the chap when he mispronounced my name. look. i am growing.

where were ew? yes! the show! if you have not yet seen it, come the fuck on down. it simply seems childish that you haven't come. so grow up my love. grow up xxx


"we are the media"

my wonderful, wonderful friends. things are all kicking off on the run up to THE DEATH OF GREGORY AKERMAN - lets bring you up to speed:

the show has been ... i guess, commissioned(?) to be preformed at the London Fortean Society in September. this is single handedly, the most productive thing that has happened to a show before having performed it. i'll bang on more about this AFTER THE AUGUST RUN! get those fucking tickets first yeah?

tomorrow i shall be allowed on live telly. i know. i really do understand, and the answer is i don't know. i can only assume that they mistook me for someone else, however - its too late for them to turn back now! HA. GREG WINS! i shall be on londonlive at about 6:30ish in the afternoon and shall be the very picture of a delightful guest

i say its all kicking off - thats about it.




(buy tickets my children xxx)


what up heros, the delightful Camden fringe have put tickets on sale for my show, the death of gregory akerman.

go forth and buy all of the fuckers.  

this may seem a brief epistle and you know, it is - I'm on a train and troubled by the stench of a strangers pasty - but do not fret, I shall mention these tickets over and over again. forever. 

much love comrades xx

(ps - if you simply can't wait till August to see your favorite comic/doomsayer/preacher, come down to Croydon comedy festival on the 23rd June. I'm only bloody back with my favourite group of geeky, smarty, awesomey, sciencey show-offs. Tickets:


dearest family, a few things to update you on. by now, you'll all be very much aware of the superbly silly podcast i've been doing with Mr Joe Moody (folk singer extraordinaire, and generally intimidatingly talented chap) - it's going well thank you. very glad you like it. now, the big news to inform you of is that my new show:


is going to be performed at the fantastic Rabbits Hole theatre in Hampstead from the 6th to the 11th August! I am very excited about this, as the show is coming together very well and with each rewrite, seems to be more and more pretentious. you'll fucking love it. 

all my love comrade xxx